The next day, Bob and I walked down the long, deserted beach to find a breakfast spot. We ended up at a brand new posh Eco-lodge which served to-die-for coffee and killer omelettes. The sky was a never-ending Baja blue and the sun felt comfortably warm on my skin. One of the practices I had learned as a tantra teacher was to become aware of the senses as I go through my day, and here my senses were on high alert; taste buds rejoicing, the smell of the coffee, feel of the sunlight, sound of the waves. I could feel the tensions of the last few weeks melting away as I relaxed deeper into the precious moment and all it offered. I took a deep breath in and slowly exhaled. Aaahhh (I invite you to do the same!) That's better. I felt so grateful for having the ability to be in this special place, far from the madding crowds. I live in a city and although my house is quiet, there is always that background hum of traffic and city noise, that energy of activity that permeates even my peaceful oasis.
But here there was just the ocean, the desert, the endless sky. My nervous system could let go of its defenses and relax deeply. Isn't this why we take vacations? To truly get recharged and let go of our stress? Yet so many people opt to go to yet more high octane, busy destinations that in their way encourage even more stimulation and stress; not my cup of tea if I have come to relax. I need the soothing sounds of nature away from too many people and too many stimuli. This beach at Pescadero, just south of Todos Santos suited me just fine.
The last few weeks at home had been exhausting for me. I am a yoga and tantra teacher, and had been offering a lot of groups and workshops recently. When I teach, I give it my all, my full Presence and energy. It is my joy to do so and although I feel very blessed by the work I have chosen, I can also get very tired. I HAVE to take care of myself and have found that getting completely away out of town is the best way for me to relax. I also feel that is a responsibility to my students. They want the best Julia possible to show up as their guide and mentor and I need to make sure that happens.
I had also just ended a relationship. The emotional stress of that was weighing heavily on me too, as I had been with a loving, wonderful man and many people would think me crazy to break if off with him. But my soul was screaming out for a change, for more time alone, for something new to come into my life. And this match was somehow just not quite right. And if I wanted “the right one” then I HAD to let go of the not-quite-right-one in order to create space for that to come in. I had put some of my personal wants and desires on the back-burner during my relationship and now I craved the time and space to fulfill them. In the past I had gone through times when being single felt like a lonely, desperate place, but this time I was not afraid to be alone. In fact, I welcomed it. Like Madonna, who is coincidentally about my age, I felt the need to reinvent myself now that I was in my fifties.
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