My former women’s group is here at my house and we are having a reunion. It’s really cool immersing in all this feminine energy. There are 8 of us. We used to have a group 20 years ago and in a three year period, buoyed from all the love and support we received, all of us except 1 left their dysfunctional marriages. And the single girl of our number got married to a friend of a friend of ours.
When we were all thirty-something we would talk about how rotten our husbands were and how stressed we felt. Now the talk revolves around where to find gluten-free food, how to cope with menopause and which diets are most effective for keeping the weight off our midriffs.
I asked the girls when they were happiest – then or now.
It was unanimous – now without a doubt! Bodies may have aged somewhat but the sense of empowerment far outweighs any negative effect from aches and pains. I asked them why.
They said…”I don’t let things bother me like I used to. I don’t sweat the small stuff.”
“I feel in control of my life and myself. I now have the ability to deal with whatever life throws my way. I feel more powerful and life has more choice-points.”
“There are fewer ups and down, more equanimity.”
“I understand myself now and know my boundaries and how to ask for what I need and want.”
“I’ve given up hope for a better tomorrow and have dropped into being grateful for my life exactly the way it is showing up now. My expectations and attachments have lessened and my happiness has increased.”
“ I live life more simply now. I know I do not need material possessions to make me happy, just good friends, good healthy food and lots of time in nature.”
I am curious if this true for women in their fifties across the board… is it? And are your relationships better, with your family, significant others, friends?
I would love to hear from you one way or the other…
What would you tell your 30 year old self if you could reach back in time?
Indeed what would your 70 year old self tell you if she could reach back now?
Oprah once said the fifties is the life we were meant to live. How true is this for the majority of women? Are we improving like fine wines or sliding inexorably towards the grave in a dull haze of routine and pain? Inquiring minds want to know….
Copyright Julia Tindall July 2011
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