This is my last post about the Dave romance.
Don't worry - it's all going very well thank you - it's just that I am about to leave for Ecuador on Wednesday and want to get back to writing about the theme of the book.. I just took a little romantic detour, that's all!
And there are a lot of you secret blog readers out there it seems, who want more of Dave's point of view!
So here is the rest...if it doesn't touch your heart then I don't know what would!
another deep breath from me..
Dave writes:
The Group...
My move? Really? She actually granted that kind of licence? Amazing. I played it cool and suggested a few openings in my schedule and played it brave and mentioned my plan to go to Wilbur Hot Springs for a soak later in the week.
Her response was a very clear invitation to join her Yoga Circle held every Tuesday night and to see her in action. I was honored and really wanted to come and it just seemed like the right thing to do. I inquired about what to say to the "how do you know Julia" question which had already been thrown at me on Massage Night by an arriving friend who needed comfort. She answered with integrity. "Just tell them we have had a couple dates". Simple. In the mean time our email chats flowed.
I arrived to her Tuesday group not knowing what to expect and also knowing it was the perfect place for me. She greeted me warmly and I figured out right away that she wasn't going to hide the fact that she liked me in front of her friends and clients. This is really such an honoring thing for a new person in someone's radar and I was overjoyed. The group was dynamic and amazing and I soaked it up. She's a great teacher and leader and I would be a fool not to recognize that she was now my teacher.
Can I date my teacher? Sure. Of course. I need great teachers and can separate the two. It's not like some Van Halen song or teen boy fantasy. I just think a man has to recognize the idea that a woman who needs to be honored in her majesty can be without the man's loss of ego. This is really one of those things I don't get. Julia Tindall is damn good at what she does and I could learn from that. Romantic possibilites inside, aside, upside down, this is a truth.
Maybe she knew it and maybe she just did it, but Julia did two things to seal the deal with me on that particular point. First, as the group got into circle, she made a place for me right next to her. As a new guest, I felt welcomed. As a potential "man", I felt special. My energy soared. Second, after the final Om's, she came and sat next to me and put her arm around me. I had seen her be affectionate with others, but in this instance, it was more than that. She claimed me. Marked her territory. Showed everyone in the room that I was important to her. My fragile male ego drew immediate strength from this. I was to be counted. I mattered. And I'll tell you, that, ladies, is how to win a man. Win. Win. Win. I was high as Everest Base Camp in that moment and "warm glow" just doesn't cut it for explanations. I spent time meeting and talking with others and as this happened, I always felt her eyes on me. Checking on me. She would breeze by and touch me. Perfection.
As people left, she made sure that I knew I was to stay and once the last person closed the door we fell, nay we nearly leapt onto her Magic Couch and melted into each other's arms. Moments later our lips found what I knew I desired (and as it turns out so did she) and I was kissed the kiss of a lifetime. Just writing about it turns me into a shivering yarn ball of nerve endings. That kiss, the most perfect of my 45 years on the human stage was so very potent in meaning and depth that whatever pain I had over relationships past went headlong into the void never to be returned. My friend, if you are reading this and have not been healed by a kiss, I feel for you. It can not be better.
There were words exchanged. Some fool effort to try to get me to see her flaws. I was having none of it. The Divine will tell of what I an not to judge, not her. And we kissed, for hours that night, well into the wee predawn of the following morning and I knew then that regardless of how or what the future were to bring, my life had just changed. Forever. It's not a sappy Fabio covered book. It's the ultimate desire of my heart to have real and spectacular romance.
Here, with this small woman of gigantic power it came when least expected and most needed.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
dave's viewpoint...
hi everyone
Apologies for taking a break from posting here... I was in costa rica and waiting for Dave to get his next piece to me! Now it is here and so many of you have asked for more.. so .. I take a deep breath and lay it out below...
Julia, The Stone Treatment
This little one plays it so cool. I've been sending my daily mediative quotes to her and she always comments but doesn't say too much. But this time it is different and she came right out and just asked when I was coming to give her my 7 Stones Treatment. Signs of being much more free. We quickly set up a date and time and I sent the usual speech about Do's and Don'ts for this powerful treatment. She offered to do dinner and I didn't want to say yes partly because I didn't want her to go to any trouble and partly because I don't usually eat before doing this work. It is intense and I don't like the feeling of any energy going to my digestive system when my other systems need to be engaged. But she really wanted to and because of the time of day, it really made sense.
Dinner was amazing. She did a wonderful rice pasta (we are both into largely gluten free eating) and this really strong sauce that only needs a couple of tweaks to be world class. She says she's a simple English cook, but I think there is more foodie there than she admits. Dinner over, I offer to help clean up, but she makes quick work of it and I'm busy setting up my stone warmer and gear. What is cool is that she is REALLY up for this. She doesn't do much in the way of asking questions, she just wants to get to the experience and that makes me happy.
My "7 Stones to Reiki" treatment is pretty special and was learned from a true master and adapted to fit to my style. I use a combination of Colorado Basalt (Black) heated stones and Colorado Marble (white) cool chakra stones. The idea is to sandwich the victim in hot upwardly radiating energy and cool earth seeking energy and the stones as trying to meet in the middle. Temperature is critical and the hot stones can be really really hot, but I back off to a safe temperature and go with my feelings. She's a high energy person and the cold stones are really the most key thing, says my intuition.
I put Julia face up with a spinal layout below her and begin to tuck in pairs of dark stones under joints and key points. Two "flight control" stones are placed in her hands and some small toe stones are put between her toes which she says immediately that she loves. The 7 Chakra stones in the form of animals, drums, etc are placed on top of her and immediately she relaxes into the weight of the large cold stones. It's my job just to be the cruise director and let the gang of stones, Spirit and Ancestors do the work. A guided mediation begins and I run symbols and the Reiki kicks in hard.
This one is a receptor.
And for the next 45 min she receives, hard, and I watch the flow and colors change and I'm sweating like a banana farmer in a monkey sanctuary because everything about this woman is big big big. Big like no one who has ever been on my table. I'm overwhelmed.
The stones quickly accomplish the work and when the flow is perfect and my touch yields balance it is time to start taking off stones and time to bring her back to life. Simple. I'm out of the way. It's not me and I know this and that makes my nerves feel better.
The next event was a bit of shocker to me.
As I get her up and bring her to the now, she asks me if I'd lay down on her big davenport sized couch and "cuddle" with her... "have a cuddle" was how she put it. And we simply and quickly fell onto the couch as if we had been doing this forever. A little talk and a lot of chill and I remember touching her hair and kissing her on the top of the head as if to say, "relax, I'm OK". She did. There wasn't really a romantic moment. It was more of a spiritual thing and she talked about how she felt and what was important to her at the moment. So much in "the now". So awesome.
Before I knew it, it had become very late and I was totally exhausted. Packing up my gear wasn't very easy. It seemed like I was in a haze. Driving home seemed to take forever and I remember very little beyond that.
The next day I sent a heartfelt thank you:
Thank You for a lovely dinner. For a lovely time. For a chance to bring my gifts.
You are confused about me. I get it. Don't be. We have something to explore. Could surprise us both, I think.
Blessings.
-Dave
To which the reply came quickly:
Good morning!
So I slept well and hard - for 6 wonderful hours and woke at 8 feeling
very refreshed.. how about you?
Yes a lovely night...and as an intrepid explorer I say yes.
Your move....
j
Apologies for taking a break from posting here... I was in costa rica and waiting for Dave to get his next piece to me! Now it is here and so many of you have asked for more.. so .. I take a deep breath and lay it out below...
Julia, The Stone Treatment
This little one plays it so cool. I've been sending my daily mediative quotes to her and she always comments but doesn't say too much. But this time it is different and she came right out and just asked when I was coming to give her my 7 Stones Treatment. Signs of being much more free. We quickly set up a date and time and I sent the usual speech about Do's and Don'ts for this powerful treatment. She offered to do dinner and I didn't want to say yes partly because I didn't want her to go to any trouble and partly because I don't usually eat before doing this work. It is intense and I don't like the feeling of any energy going to my digestive system when my other systems need to be engaged. But she really wanted to and because of the time of day, it really made sense.
Dinner was amazing. She did a wonderful rice pasta (we are both into largely gluten free eating) and this really strong sauce that only needs a couple of tweaks to be world class. She says she's a simple English cook, but I think there is more foodie there than she admits. Dinner over, I offer to help clean up, but she makes quick work of it and I'm busy setting up my stone warmer and gear. What is cool is that she is REALLY up for this. She doesn't do much in the way of asking questions, she just wants to get to the experience and that makes me happy.
My "7 Stones to Reiki" treatment is pretty special and was learned from a true master and adapted to fit to my style. I use a combination of Colorado Basalt (Black) heated stones and Colorado Marble (white) cool chakra stones. The idea is to sandwich the victim in hot upwardly radiating energy and cool earth seeking energy and the stones as trying to meet in the middle. Temperature is critical and the hot stones can be really really hot, but I back off to a safe temperature and go with my feelings. She's a high energy person and the cold stones are really the most key thing, says my intuition.
I put Julia face up with a spinal layout below her and begin to tuck in pairs of dark stones under joints and key points. Two "flight control" stones are placed in her hands and some small toe stones are put between her toes which she says immediately that she loves. The 7 Chakra stones in the form of animals, drums, etc are placed on top of her and immediately she relaxes into the weight of the large cold stones. It's my job just to be the cruise director and let the gang of stones, Spirit and Ancestors do the work. A guided mediation begins and I run symbols and the Reiki kicks in hard.
This one is a receptor.
And for the next 45 min she receives, hard, and I watch the flow and colors change and I'm sweating like a banana farmer in a monkey sanctuary because everything about this woman is big big big. Big like no one who has ever been on my table. I'm overwhelmed.
The stones quickly accomplish the work and when the flow is perfect and my touch yields balance it is time to start taking off stones and time to bring her back to life. Simple. I'm out of the way. It's not me and I know this and that makes my nerves feel better.
The next event was a bit of shocker to me.
As I get her up and bring her to the now, she asks me if I'd lay down on her big davenport sized couch and "cuddle" with her... "have a cuddle" was how she put it. And we simply and quickly fell onto the couch as if we had been doing this forever. A little talk and a lot of chill and I remember touching her hair and kissing her on the top of the head as if to say, "relax, I'm OK". She did. There wasn't really a romantic moment. It was more of a spiritual thing and she talked about how she felt and what was important to her at the moment. So much in "the now". So awesome.
Before I knew it, it had become very late and I was totally exhausted. Packing up my gear wasn't very easy. It seemed like I was in a haze. Driving home seemed to take forever and I remember very little beyond that.
The next day I sent a heartfelt thank you:
Thank You for a lovely dinner. For a lovely time. For a chance to bring my gifts.
You are confused about me. I get it. Don't be. We have something to explore. Could surprise us both, I think.
Blessings.
-Dave
To which the reply came quickly:
Good morning!
So I slept well and hard - for 6 wonderful hours and woke at 8 feeling
very refreshed.. how about you?
Yes a lovely night...and as an intrepid explorer I say yes.
Your move....
j
Thursday, January 5, 2012
dave part 4
More quotes followed. I felt I was being wooed.
Dave had told me of his stones, his connection with the stone people, how the stones when laid out on the body will relax and heal the muscles and energy centers. I wrote and asked to feel them.
Sunday December 18th
Dave at my door with table, sheets, and this time, stones and stone heater. This time, I cooked dinner for him first. I'm not a great cook but I make a mean buffalo bolognaise. Dave was appreciative and we dined well. The feeling between us was relaxed, fun.
Then he set up the table and laid out the hot stones, laying them under me, on me, placing small ones between my toes, large ones in each hand, running reiki energy through my field.
I was GONE! It relaxed me so deeply, my spirit went to some far away corner of the universe to play with the angels. Once again, I was blissed out and happy. In the zone..
Who IS this man?
When we were finished with the healing treatment, I could tell he was being polite and awkward about what to do next, so I took the reins. “Would you be willing to cuddle me on the couch?”
He didn't need to be asked twice!
I laid myself on top of this giant of a man, and let his arms unfold me. Oh he was SO comfortable! I nuzzled my head against his gigantic neck and settled in, softening. We lay there, still, till 2 in the morning, letting our stories pour out. Talking, sharing, enjoying each other. But not once did I kiss him. No sirree, I was still in the confusion; confused I was feeling attracted to this very large man,not sure yet about taking it any further.
At last I kicked him out but invited him back, to join our jnana group on Tuesday.
“I know you are feeling confused.” Dave wrote me. But sometimes we get what we need, not what we want.”
That following morning I woke up with Dave on my mind. I could not shake it. He stayed with me that whole day, that night and the following morning, as though I was being stealthily courted on some other plane. His energy somehow visiting me on the etheric level, getting inside of me, battling down my resistance.
Tuesday morning I woke up excited about the evening. I think I had already decided to go to the next level, in fact, couldn't wait.
Jnana group was intense. We looked at self-forgiveness. I knew Dave had some of that work to do and thought it would be great for him to see what I do with groups, but I had already told him I do not sleep with my students. So I wrote to him that day that although I wanted him to come, I insisted he came as my guest as otherwise it changed the rules of the game. I guess that gave him a message. I was starting to open!
After group, people left and we returned to the couch. I call it my magic couch as once you have sunk into it, it's very hard to get off! And this time as I lay myself down next to this powerful man, I did kiss him. Again and again.. deliciously, slowly, quickly, allowing myself to open my energy more and more to his strong, masculine presence. I came up for air and lifted my head.
“Listen, I have to tell you, my ex thinks I am bossy, opinionated and demanding.”
“I love a girl how knows her own mind.”
“I'm a terrible cook and for a domestic Goddess you'd better look elsewhere.”
“I loved your food the other night. But luckily for you, I LOVE to cook. My Dad was a trained cordon bleu chef and taught me everything he knew.”
“I travel a lot. I'm gone for weeks every year.”
“Well absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or I'll join you.”
Well OK then. I'm testing this man, pushing his limits and he eats my words and spits them right back out. All in his stride.
With that he put his lips back on mine and we kissed again, for another couple of hours...
The deal was sealed.
Dave had told me of his stones, his connection with the stone people, how the stones when laid out on the body will relax and heal the muscles and energy centers. I wrote and asked to feel them.
Sunday December 18th
Dave at my door with table, sheets, and this time, stones and stone heater. This time, I cooked dinner for him first. I'm not a great cook but I make a mean buffalo bolognaise. Dave was appreciative and we dined well. The feeling between us was relaxed, fun.
Then he set up the table and laid out the hot stones, laying them under me, on me, placing small ones between my toes, large ones in each hand, running reiki energy through my field.
I was GONE! It relaxed me so deeply, my spirit went to some far away corner of the universe to play with the angels. Once again, I was blissed out and happy. In the zone..
Who IS this man?
When we were finished with the healing treatment, I could tell he was being polite and awkward about what to do next, so I took the reins. “Would you be willing to cuddle me on the couch?”
He didn't need to be asked twice!
I laid myself on top of this giant of a man, and let his arms unfold me. Oh he was SO comfortable! I nuzzled my head against his gigantic neck and settled in, softening. We lay there, still, till 2 in the morning, letting our stories pour out. Talking, sharing, enjoying each other. But not once did I kiss him. No sirree, I was still in the confusion; confused I was feeling attracted to this very large man,not sure yet about taking it any further.
At last I kicked him out but invited him back, to join our jnana group on Tuesday.
“I know you are feeling confused.” Dave wrote me. But sometimes we get what we need, not what we want.”
That following morning I woke up with Dave on my mind. I could not shake it. He stayed with me that whole day, that night and the following morning, as though I was being stealthily courted on some other plane. His energy somehow visiting me on the etheric level, getting inside of me, battling down my resistance.
Tuesday morning I woke up excited about the evening. I think I had already decided to go to the next level, in fact, couldn't wait.
Jnana group was intense. We looked at self-forgiveness. I knew Dave had some of that work to do and thought it would be great for him to see what I do with groups, but I had already told him I do not sleep with my students. So I wrote to him that day that although I wanted him to come, I insisted he came as my guest as otherwise it changed the rules of the game. I guess that gave him a message. I was starting to open!
After group, people left and we returned to the couch. I call it my magic couch as once you have sunk into it, it's very hard to get off! And this time as I lay myself down next to this powerful man, I did kiss him. Again and again.. deliciously, slowly, quickly, allowing myself to open my energy more and more to his strong, masculine presence. I came up for air and lifted my head.
“Listen, I have to tell you, my ex thinks I am bossy, opinionated and demanding.”
“I love a girl how knows her own mind.”
“I'm a terrible cook and for a domestic Goddess you'd better look elsewhere.”
“I loved your food the other night. But luckily for you, I LOVE to cook. My Dad was a trained cordon bleu chef and taught me everything he knew.”
“I travel a lot. I'm gone for weeks every year.”
“Well absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or I'll join you.”
Well OK then. I'm testing this man, pushing his limits and he eats my words and spits them right back out. All in his stride.
With that he put his lips back on mine and we kissed again, for another couple of hours...
The deal was sealed.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
dave part 3
And so it came to pass that Dave took me to the movies.
There was something different about him when I saw next...he looked more handsome to me, but it took me a while to figure out why - he had shaved! All that was left was a small amount of hair on his chin. The rest was history. I complimented him on looking younger, not hiding behind the hair. He really did look tons better.
We saw J Edgar, the movie sitting next to each other but not touching, not holding hands. I felt comfortable beside him but was not feeling any desire for more closeness. Mutual enjoyment of the movie was feeling like plenty for me.
Afterwards, we went for a drink at the Elephant Bar. Drinking a mojito and having yet more sparkling conversation, I looked at him a little more deeply and felt a twinge of interest in my body, the beginnings of an attraction. Maybe I should look more deeply here. What if there was something here for me and I could not see the wood for the trees, colored as my judgment of him was my former experiences with large men in my life? During the course of conversation I discovered he had played golf on 7 continents, putted with Bill Clinton, jetted around the world building high-end golf courses. Not a run-of-the-mill man, this one. I was intrigued, but still resistant.
We walked back to his truck and as we parted, I leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the lips - soft lips, nice. I jumped out of his truck making no future plans,remaining non-committal. I thanked him for the lovely evening and drove home, noticing a warm feeling inside me.
Dave writes: We both had expressed an interest in seeing the movie about J. Edgar Hoover and so after a bit of schedule syncing, a time and place was suggested and agreed and we met at the appointed moment. She looked much more beautiful that I had remembered and the truth was I was really taken by her whole vibe. She picked perfect seats and we chatted and commented through the previews and settled into a good movie. Her energy was all around me and it felt nice, but when I would steal a glance, her body language was very closed. Sitting far away from me again. The possibility of some "date type" contact as benign as holding hands didn't seem any more possible than Lady Gaga calling me for music lessons. Nonetheless, we both enjoyed the movie and keyed on the same interesting parts.
We had talked about having a drink after the show and picked a place. I was rather shocked when she offered to jump in my vehicle, declaring that she trusted me. "Am I getting through to this woman?", I thought. Perhaps, but still she sat as far away from me as possible. We had a really enjoyable conversation over a nice yummy cocktail and I felt happy to have so much to talk about with her. Our combined world travels would certainly fill three books and we both had some cool stories to tell. I felt warm and wonderful.
As we left to walk to my car, I had the urge, once again, to just hold her hand. And as I looked for the possibility, Miss Julia, hands in pockets, was walking far enough away that my hand would never reach her. Not that into me. I get it. But at the same time we were having this great mental and spiritual connection. During our drink I had told her about my Stone Reiki work and so we revisited this subject quickly as a possibility for further connection. She leaned over, gave me a peckish kiss that only a sister could give a brother and off she went.
Here's what I wrote in an email that night:
Wonderful evening with you. Thank you so much. What a blessing you are.
I'm sure you can tell I have a crush on you. Not really sure how to handle myself with that. Kind of a new thing. Usually I'm the one who isn't feeling it. I find myself giving you lots of space when I actually want to be close.
Advice? :-) since you are the oracle.
Here's what she wrote back:
Good morning!
I am enjoying getting to know you very much - I feel very comfortable
with you. How wonderful you are feeling things...can you celebrate the
feeling without any attachment to outcome??
( I know - that's a hard one...)
You must be in my psychic space because I dreamed about you last night.
Anyway I am remaining open.
love j
Can I celebrate the feeling.....? Sure Julia, just like I can celebrate Salsa by looking at a Tomato and a couple Chillies. I get what she was saying, and I know this was a stretch for her, but I'm not the sort of man who doesn't step to a challenge. And really, isn't meeting someone who makes me feel this way enough to celebrate? Doesn't that make for a stitched deep sense of love? Perhaps I'm just a damn sap who should be ghost writing romance novels for lonely ladies in Florida to read by the pool. Or perhaps I need to shave my head, don the robes and train German shepherds with Monks of New Skete and never speak to another human female again. Confused and passionate at the same time it was time to take the 1 iron out of the bag and pure a low screamer into the wind, pin high to win the match.
My reply was perhaps one of the bravest things I have ever written:
Someone told me once that we put up walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down. And I think that goes hand in hand with getting what you need, but not always what you think you want.
I'm glad I found my way into your dream space. You've been speaking in mine since first writing from Asia.
You are special, Lady Julia. So am I. So when you ask if I can celebrate it makes me laugh because there is already a celebration.
“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
I hope your day has surrounded you with love. Today your words surrounded me with special. Thank you.
After I pressed the send button on this beauty, I felt nothing but strength and peace. In my life, I've often been unable to be strong enough in my own voice. This was strong, loving language and I knew that it was determined, but not rude or pushy. I didn't want a "take it or leave it" kind of thing. And I didn't want to be one of those guys who related that they weren't looking for friendship. I simply and totally wanted to make sure I had been seen and for the most part, didn't feel like that had happened yet.
There was something different about him when I saw next...he looked more handsome to me, but it took me a while to figure out why - he had shaved! All that was left was a small amount of hair on his chin. The rest was history. I complimented him on looking younger, not hiding behind the hair. He really did look tons better.
We saw J Edgar, the movie sitting next to each other but not touching, not holding hands. I felt comfortable beside him but was not feeling any desire for more closeness. Mutual enjoyment of the movie was feeling like plenty for me.
Afterwards, we went for a drink at the Elephant Bar. Drinking a mojito and having yet more sparkling conversation, I looked at him a little more deeply and felt a twinge of interest in my body, the beginnings of an attraction. Maybe I should look more deeply here. What if there was something here for me and I could not see the wood for the trees, colored as my judgment of him was my former experiences with large men in my life? During the course of conversation I discovered he had played golf on 7 continents, putted with Bill Clinton, jetted around the world building high-end golf courses. Not a run-of-the-mill man, this one. I was intrigued, but still resistant.
We walked back to his truck and as we parted, I leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the lips - soft lips, nice. I jumped out of his truck making no future plans,remaining non-committal. I thanked him for the lovely evening and drove home, noticing a warm feeling inside me.
Dave writes: We both had expressed an interest in seeing the movie about J. Edgar Hoover and so after a bit of schedule syncing, a time and place was suggested and agreed and we met at the appointed moment. She looked much more beautiful that I had remembered and the truth was I was really taken by her whole vibe. She picked perfect seats and we chatted and commented through the previews and settled into a good movie. Her energy was all around me and it felt nice, but when I would steal a glance, her body language was very closed. Sitting far away from me again. The possibility of some "date type" contact as benign as holding hands didn't seem any more possible than Lady Gaga calling me for music lessons. Nonetheless, we both enjoyed the movie and keyed on the same interesting parts.
We had talked about having a drink after the show and picked a place. I was rather shocked when she offered to jump in my vehicle, declaring that she trusted me. "Am I getting through to this woman?", I thought. Perhaps, but still she sat as far away from me as possible. We had a really enjoyable conversation over a nice yummy cocktail and I felt happy to have so much to talk about with her. Our combined world travels would certainly fill three books and we both had some cool stories to tell. I felt warm and wonderful.
As we left to walk to my car, I had the urge, once again, to just hold her hand. And as I looked for the possibility, Miss Julia, hands in pockets, was walking far enough away that my hand would never reach her. Not that into me. I get it. But at the same time we were having this great mental and spiritual connection. During our drink I had told her about my Stone Reiki work and so we revisited this subject quickly as a possibility for further connection. She leaned over, gave me a peckish kiss that only a sister could give a brother and off she went.
Here's what I wrote in an email that night:
Wonderful evening with you. Thank you so much. What a blessing you are.
I'm sure you can tell I have a crush on you. Not really sure how to handle myself with that. Kind of a new thing. Usually I'm the one who isn't feeling it. I find myself giving you lots of space when I actually want to be close.
Advice? :-) since you are the oracle.
Here's what she wrote back:
Good morning!
I am enjoying getting to know you very much - I feel very comfortable
with you. How wonderful you are feeling things...can you celebrate the
feeling without any attachment to outcome??
( I know - that's a hard one...)
You must be in my psychic space because I dreamed about you last night.
Anyway I am remaining open.
love j
Can I celebrate the feeling.....? Sure Julia, just like I can celebrate Salsa by looking at a Tomato and a couple Chillies. I get what she was saying, and I know this was a stretch for her, but I'm not the sort of man who doesn't step to a challenge. And really, isn't meeting someone who makes me feel this way enough to celebrate? Doesn't that make for a stitched deep sense of love? Perhaps I'm just a damn sap who should be ghost writing romance novels for lonely ladies in Florida to read by the pool. Or perhaps I need to shave my head, don the robes and train German shepherds with Monks of New Skete and never speak to another human female again. Confused and passionate at the same time it was time to take the 1 iron out of the bag and pure a low screamer into the wind, pin high to win the match.
My reply was perhaps one of the bravest things I have ever written:
Someone told me once that we put up walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down. And I think that goes hand in hand with getting what you need, but not always what you think you want.
I'm glad I found my way into your dream space. You've been speaking in mine since first writing from Asia.
You are special, Lady Julia. So am I. So when you ask if I can celebrate it makes me laugh because there is already a celebration.
“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
I hope your day has surrounded you with love. Today your words surrounded me with special. Thank you.
After I pressed the send button on this beauty, I felt nothing but strength and peace. In my life, I've often been unable to be strong enough in my own voice. This was strong, loving language and I knew that it was determined, but not rude or pushy. I didn't want a "take it or leave it" kind of thing. And I didn't want to be one of those guys who related that they weren't looking for friendship. I simply and totally wanted to make sure I had been seen and for the most part, didn't feel like that had happened yet.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
DAVE part 2
A few days later, Dave appeared at my door with a table, clean sheets, delicious smelling massage oil and a big smile on his face. I could tell he was nervous as he set up the table in my living room, doing
his best to make me feel that I was in good hands, with a professional, clinical attitude.
“Come and lie down face-up,” he said. “Here, I'll cover you up nice and warm with this blanket.” I hopped on the table and he laid his hands on me – large, healing hands, energy pouring through them. I
relaxed immediately.
Oh I'm in heaven!
The large, confident hands glided effortlessly over my body, kneading out knotty kinks and relaxing tight muscles, still sore from sitting on planes. We didn't talk much. Other than checking on the pressure for me, he encouraged me to let go and relax deeply.
It's rare I can drop into a deep, open space whilst being massaged by someone new. Normally I need a little time to learn to trust my therapist, I need to feel safe in order to open my energy fully. But with Dave, I felt totally protected and safe and quickly fell into a state of bliss. That surprised me.
Who is this guy??
When he finished, he sat and held my feet, dropping into that float zone with me, merging energy for a moment.
I sat up slowly, thanking him as he started to pack up his gear. “Let me make you a cup of tea,” I offered, wanting to give something back to this lovely man.
“I'll take it the English way. Black tea with milk,” said Dave, who it turns out, had lived a few years in England and can understand my odd transatlantic expressions and slang.
We sat on my couch sipping tea and chatted warmly. That night I was having a gathering for Kat with some of the people from jnana group who knew her when she was a member. My friend Kathy was coming early to spend some time with me. Dave and I were still engrossed in conversation when she knocked on the door.
“Come in, sweetie, and I'll make you tea. Here come sit on the couch with Dave. He'll give you a hug if you need one.”
I brazenly volunteered his loving arms.
While Kathy poured out her heart and sorrow over Kat's passing, she sat between Dave and I, both our arms around her. It felt so right to be here comforting one of my best friends with a man I hardly
knew.... I was cognizant of the strong, masculine space Dave held; quiet, loving, present. I liked that. It's a rare gift to be able to comfort someone with pure presence alone, but his energy was doing exactly that on that sad day when we were mourning the loss of our friend.
Still, much as I liked and appreciated this lovely man, I had been with a large man before and had sworn to only date fit, healthy men. Plus he had that hairy face.
No. I just couldn’t do it - there is NO way I am kissing a guy with a mustache.
DAVE WRITES:
I've studied bodywork and energy-work all over the world as a way to improve my health and as a way to help others. When my father passed away in 2003, I took it much more seriously. I was the standout student in every class I took and as a way to heal and as a form of exercise I made every opportunity I could to give work -chair massage at sporting events, working a few hours a week at several day spas, eventually teaching and opening a healing studio. Along the way I became a Reiki Master and helped develop an integrated hot/cold stone treatment combined with Reiki technique and eventually did massage for the USA Olympic Athletes. Safe to say that I'm confident in this arena, which is why I'm giving my bodywork resume.
I found myself offering massage to Lady Julia in the hope that I could get to know her better via my touch senses and that the same would transfer for a shot at a happy ending. (Get your mind out of the gutter - not "that" kind of happy ending wherein Mama Kim will love you long time.) Julia, being a seasoned healing arts person gladly accepted and a 2:30 in the afternoon time was chosen. She said she had a table and linens and all that, but I had mine handy, just the same. After a quick chat, she produced the world's oldest, pink colored massage table. Well used but would do the job. I had my lotion of choice ready and we talked about pressure and injuries past and all that clinical stuff. On the table she went.
Up to this point I was relatively composed. After thousands of massages I should be.
And then I touched her. I've been searching for the words to describe this initial feeling and the best that seems to come has something to do with being plugged into one of those huge power turbines they have at the base of Hoover Dam. I've never been connected to one of them, but I now know what it might feel like it. The smallish Brit nearly knocked me off my feet with her strong energy flow and I began to sweat and shake as if I had had 12 shots of espresso. I don't remember much, but somehow I managed to make my way through some flowing work and a bit of deeper work, using about 30 percent of my pressure potential. Of course she commented on liking pressure, but I was not about to mess up by going too far.
We had our first small connection as she curled into a ball on the table after the massage and we talked a moment. It was the first time she had let her guard down, as if one of those fuzzy-hatted Buckingham Palace guards finally cracked a smile. I felt encouraged. Then later foolish, as I learned from her that she had studied massage herself before moving on to higher pursuits. For sure, I could have ran some deeper work and for sure she must have known I was a nervous wreck. We shared a cup of tea and some small talk with her taking a position as far away as possible from me as we sat on the couch with our tea.
Massage adventure over, I sent a note of thanks with a very open-ended invitation to get together. Her reply caught me off-guard…
The next day, determined to be clear with Dave, I wrote him a note that said as much.
“Dave – I really love our friendship and look forward to getting to know you better. But I don't sense a romantic attraction with you.”
Dave was not to be deterred. He admitted in an email he had a huge crush on me. I had guessed that and was not quite sure where to go with it but as it’s so rare I meet anyone as fascinating as Dave, I wanted to keep a door open for a friendship at least.
“Lets go see a movie together,” he suggested. We'd talked about seeing “J. Edgar” and arranged another date.
his best to make me feel that I was in good hands, with a professional, clinical attitude.
“Come and lie down face-up,” he said. “Here, I'll cover you up nice and warm with this blanket.” I hopped on the table and he laid his hands on me – large, healing hands, energy pouring through them. I
relaxed immediately.
Oh I'm in heaven!
The large, confident hands glided effortlessly over my body, kneading out knotty kinks and relaxing tight muscles, still sore from sitting on planes. We didn't talk much. Other than checking on the pressure for me, he encouraged me to let go and relax deeply.
It's rare I can drop into a deep, open space whilst being massaged by someone new. Normally I need a little time to learn to trust my therapist, I need to feel safe in order to open my energy fully. But with Dave, I felt totally protected and safe and quickly fell into a state of bliss. That surprised me.
Who is this guy??
When he finished, he sat and held my feet, dropping into that float zone with me, merging energy for a moment.
I sat up slowly, thanking him as he started to pack up his gear. “Let me make you a cup of tea,” I offered, wanting to give something back to this lovely man.
“I'll take it the English way. Black tea with milk,” said Dave, who it turns out, had lived a few years in England and can understand my odd transatlantic expressions and slang.
We sat on my couch sipping tea and chatted warmly. That night I was having a gathering for Kat with some of the people from jnana group who knew her when she was a member. My friend Kathy was coming early to spend some time with me. Dave and I were still engrossed in conversation when she knocked on the door.
“Come in, sweetie, and I'll make you tea. Here come sit on the couch with Dave. He'll give you a hug if you need one.”
I brazenly volunteered his loving arms.
While Kathy poured out her heart and sorrow over Kat's passing, she sat between Dave and I, both our arms around her. It felt so right to be here comforting one of my best friends with a man I hardly
knew.... I was cognizant of the strong, masculine space Dave held; quiet, loving, present. I liked that. It's a rare gift to be able to comfort someone with pure presence alone, but his energy was doing exactly that on that sad day when we were mourning the loss of our friend.
Still, much as I liked and appreciated this lovely man, I had been with a large man before and had sworn to only date fit, healthy men. Plus he had that hairy face.
No. I just couldn’t do it - there is NO way I am kissing a guy with a mustache.
DAVE WRITES:
I've studied bodywork and energy-work all over the world as a way to improve my health and as a way to help others. When my father passed away in 2003, I took it much more seriously. I was the standout student in every class I took and as a way to heal and as a form of exercise I made every opportunity I could to give work -chair massage at sporting events, working a few hours a week at several day spas, eventually teaching and opening a healing studio. Along the way I became a Reiki Master and helped develop an integrated hot/cold stone treatment combined with Reiki technique and eventually did massage for the USA Olympic Athletes. Safe to say that I'm confident in this arena, which is why I'm giving my bodywork resume.
I found myself offering massage to Lady Julia in the hope that I could get to know her better via my touch senses and that the same would transfer for a shot at a happy ending. (Get your mind out of the gutter - not "that" kind of happy ending wherein Mama Kim will love you long time.) Julia, being a seasoned healing arts person gladly accepted and a 2:30 in the afternoon time was chosen. She said she had a table and linens and all that, but I had mine handy, just the same. After a quick chat, she produced the world's oldest, pink colored massage table. Well used but would do the job. I had my lotion of choice ready and we talked about pressure and injuries past and all that clinical stuff. On the table she went.
Up to this point I was relatively composed. After thousands of massages I should be.
And then I touched her. I've been searching for the words to describe this initial feeling and the best that seems to come has something to do with being plugged into one of those huge power turbines they have at the base of Hoover Dam. I've never been connected to one of them, but I now know what it might feel like it. The smallish Brit nearly knocked me off my feet with her strong energy flow and I began to sweat and shake as if I had had 12 shots of espresso. I don't remember much, but somehow I managed to make my way through some flowing work and a bit of deeper work, using about 30 percent of my pressure potential. Of course she commented on liking pressure, but I was not about to mess up by going too far.
We had our first small connection as she curled into a ball on the table after the massage and we talked a moment. It was the first time she had let her guard down, as if one of those fuzzy-hatted Buckingham Palace guards finally cracked a smile. I felt encouraged. Then later foolish, as I learned from her that she had studied massage herself before moving on to higher pursuits. For sure, I could have ran some deeper work and for sure she must have known I was a nervous wreck. We shared a cup of tea and some small talk with her taking a position as far away as possible from me as we sat on the couch with our tea.
Massage adventure over, I sent a note of thanks with a very open-ended invitation to get together. Her reply caught me off-guard…
The next day, determined to be clear with Dave, I wrote him a note that said as much.
“Dave – I really love our friendship and look forward to getting to know you better. But I don't sense a romantic attraction with you.”
Dave was not to be deterred. He admitted in an email he had a huge crush on me. I had guessed that and was not quite sure where to go with it but as it’s so rare I meet anyone as fascinating as Dave, I wanted to keep a door open for a friendship at least.
“Lets go see a movie together,” he suggested. We'd talked about seeing “J. Edgar” and arranged another date.
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